Coming Home

The mental and emotional adjustment necessary to accept a loved one's perpetual absence is paramount in in a police family.

I'm learning this slowly and first hand.

When my husband began the process of entering a LE career, he had to enroll in the reserve academy.  It meant he was gone every Tuesday and Thursday night and all day each Saturday for many weeks.  We had a new baby (our first), so the stress of being home alone, dealing with an infant, and putting up with him doing homework the rest of the time was bit grueling on my psyche.

But we made it.  And once he graduated he began the FTO Process...which meant more time away from home...as he was also holding down a full-time job elsewhere.

Eventually, things evened out and he fell into a routine.  He worked a regular 8-5 at his "day job" and then spent every Friday night as a reserve officer.  In our neck of the woods, however..."reserve" just meant "another officer on the street".  Unlike some departments, my husband's took him in as just another cop who happened to only come in on Fridays.  He had his own car.  He worked on his own.  He pretty much lived life as any other patrol officer...only with fewer responsibilities and far fewer hours.

It wasn't enough, however, to fulfill his growing need to get the hell out of his regular job and into full-time LE.

We talked quite a bit about what that would mean for us.  The long hours.  The possible dangers.  The crazy shifting schedules.

It seemed to make perfect sense to me.  LE was a good fit for his personality.  It was definitely something that would bring pride to our family, so I had no problem supporting his choice.  After all, he was miserable in his regular job...bored to tears and pissed off at his boss most of the time.  I couldn't see any negative to leaving and moving on to a more lucrative job with benefits.

We'll never be rich...but I feel a great deal of pride and admiration when I see him in uniform.  There's a twinge of fear that comes with it....because I understand the real risk that accompanies that belt of cuffs and weapons.

There isn't a person on this planet that can tell me cops don't take their duty to protect and serve seriously and soberly.   And there isn't a person who can tell me their families don't either.

So...here I sit...typing away late into the night before my husband comes home for the weekend.  It's hard not to get excited.

Every time a cop comes home, it's a blessing.

The Academy

I have a crazy life.  Crazier now that my husband is a cop.

I work full time, run a household, and do my best to raise our son.  Up till recently, I was half of a team that did all of those things.  But now that my officer is off to the academy...things have changed dramatically.  Let me give you a bit of a run down...

We are a pretty Ozzie and Harriet family...right down to the dogs and cats and two-car garage.  For the sake of anonymity, I'll just say that I have a pretty traditional career that brings me home at a regular time each day and affords me weekends off.  It can be a stressful job that includes some at-home work.

I hate cooking, so "the man" usually takes care of that.  Now that he's gone during the week, there are a lot more chicken nuggets, one-pot meals, pizza orders, and left-overs.

I run - though I hate it.  I do yoga - which I love.  I write.  I read.  And I spend way too much time on the internet (we don't have cable...so I guess it fills in for that).

We live in a small-ish town in an area that has been hit rather hard by the economic downturn.  So, waiting for a patrol position to open up really was an act of faith (or futility, some might have said).  And in our state, you can't just head on off to the academy on your own dime to beef up your resume and make you more marketable.  Nope.  You gotta wait until someone sees your value and determines it's worth it to send you under their sponsorship.  With upwards of 50 or more applicants for one opening, it was nothing short of a miracle that "the man" got on with a department in a nearby town, allowing me to keep my job.  It'll mean a bit of a commute, but given the circumstances, it seems acceptable.

When I got the call that he was being invited back for a 2nd interview, I was ecstatic.  It's been such a long journey for him, and I was thoroughly elated.  Of course, it didn't mean he'd get it.

The initial interview was in January.  The second was in June.  He left for the academy a few months later.

The first week was hard.  I don't consider myself to be an overly needy spouse, but I've been pretty used to his company on a regular basis.  Suddenly, I found myself on my own Monday-Friday...seeing him only Friday night and Saturday...saying good-bye again on Sunday.  The first 4 weeks, there were tears, and our son acted out at home and at school every Monday and Thursday (like clockwork).  I guess in distress over his leaving and in excitement over his return.

Now, months later, we've fallen into a do-able routine.  It doesn't mean it's easy.  But, it's not as stressful or as lonely.

It has definitely taken some adjustment.  And of course, we're on our way toward a life of continual adaption.  But, I feel pretty blessed that "the man" gets to do what "the man" wants to do.

Police Scrapbook

Since I'm now at home alone with the kids a lot more than I was before my husband became an officer, I have picked up a new "at home" hobby - scrapbooking.  Yeah, I know...a very stereotypical and domestic behavior.  And it really isn't all that "like" me.  But, since I'm not really very creative (other than writing, I don't sew, quilt, cook, build...you catch my drift), I needed an easy outlet.

And it seemed to make good sense, since we're right here at the beginning, to make a career scrapbook for my husband...the reserve academy, the reserve years, swearing in, basic law enforcement academy, and onward.

Now, I'm new at this whole hobby, but I figured it couldn't be that hard to find materials.  Holy hell was I wrong!  It took me two days (hours and hours) to track down what I needed, and I was still left a bit miffed at K&Company for discontinuing their Police Scrapbook Kit (can I just vent for a sec?  They still have all the military themes and the firefighting theme...but somehow decided the police theme wasn't worth it?  grrrr....):

I even attempted to find it via etsy, ebay, and craigslist.  Mmmm hmmmm....I need to find something better to do with my time, I know.  But, like a rabid dog....once I put my mind to something, I absolutely cannot stop until I get it done.

So, the search continued....

Lots of scrapbooking sites had one or two items...but it hardly made it worth it once the shipping was calculated.  This encouraged me to find sites that had more for less and lower shipping.

After hours of hunting and pricing (shipping is hideous these days) and digging for coupon codes, this is what I came up with and where I found it -

Scrapbook.com - They have a screwy search engine (so I can't link to it), and I had quite a bit of trouble with their site, but I managed to find six great sticker embellishment packages and a pad of police-themed 12x12 background paper.  Of the sites I order from, they had the lowest shipping rates (around $6) and I could use paypal (which always makes me feel a little safer about ordering from a new company).

OhMyCrafts.com also had the paper...and they offered a pretty cool album (looks like a shirt - dark blue)..but they had higher shipping and I didn't need the album, so I opted for Scrapbook.com.  But, if you need the album, this is the way to go - best price on the two ($20 and $11).

Scrapbookdiscounters.net - A nice little site...they offered a kit and a cute set of 3D embellishments (uniform, cuffs, radio, etc.).  That was pretty much it, but the kit was well-priced and I couldn't find it anywhere else.

LoveIsInTheDetails.ca - I found 2 cardstock backgrounds and two sets of stickers (all in a silver/blue police theme) - good prices - but a $10 flat shipping rate, so it would be good if you were looking for other items, too, to make the shipping worth it.

I did find a few other empty albums...4 to be exact.  Two were leather bound and simply said POLICE across the front.  The other two were personalized (you could add a picture of the officer, name, dept., etc.)  They were easy to search for - simply google "police scrapbook album".

ServiceMemories.com - a great site devoted to scrapbooking for military and police.  This site had several items, but the highest shipping rates.  I ended up opting for the other sites due to this.

So, all in all - I should have plenty to keep me busy at my desk after his graduation!

New to the Family

5 years ago, my husband decided to change careers.  He was unhappy with his job at the time, and so we sat down and made a list of possible choices.  He was too old for some, so inexperienced for others.  Somehow, after crossing off 1 idea after another, the final choice was law enforcement.

It fit his personality, required training that was feasible for us, and would provide the pay and benefits necessary for our new and growing family.

So he looked into it, called around, applied, and found out the hard way that become a reserve officer was likely the only way he was going to get his foot in the door.

Luckily, as we live in a small town, surrounded by other small towns, he managed to be picked up by a nearby agency who was willing to sponsor him for the reserve academy.  In our state, you can't simply sign up to go to the police academy...you have to be hired and sponsored by a department.

After 3 years of reserve work and applying at numerous departments (hiring has pretty much been frozen around her for some time), he managed to find a position in a town close enough to keep the commute reasonable.

It was an exciting moment, but I don't think either of us really realized just how long it would take to go from hired to working.  The physical tests, psychological tests, polygraph, etc. can take weeks to months, depending on how quickly appointments can be made.  His interview was last January...he was hired in June...and he left for the academy in August.

And boy, what a change of life that was!  We went from being a "9-5" kind of working family to a "nearly single-parent" family overnight.  His academy is being held several hours away, so he only comes home on weekends.  As a working mom, that has definitely changed our lives a lot!  It was pretty stressful at first (tears and loneliness and such)...just trying to adjust to his absence and having to pick up chores and responsibilities I had always had help with.  It took a good 4 weeks before my son and I fell into a rhythm and our weeks began to feel sort of normal.

Now, my husband is just a few weeks from graduation and we'll be having to adjust to his new schedule.  Luckily, he landed days...but of course, being new, his days will include the weekends.  I guess I can't complain too much.  I'm awfully proud of his accomplishments and am completely happy that his is finally doing what he has wanted to do for so long.  The constant changing of schedules, though, is likely to be tough for awhile.

This is just the beginning of a new journey...a second career for him...a new life for our whole family.